Recently I have had the honor of learning how to “let go”. In theory it seemed very simple. Just move on, stop thinking, start something
new. But how do you deal with the
emotions and feelings of being human; the pain in your heart, the mind
replaying old memories every waking minute, the fear paralyzing you to engage
in life and move forward? Mentally we
may hold onto a disease, person, a job, even an object, because letting go means being in a
void for at least a little while … waiting for something new and better to
come. And that space is pretty
uncomfortable. You have to face
yourself, your fears, your insecurities. Its foreign, its empty, its lonely, and at the same time something amazing is being created... you just can't see it. Recent life events pushed me to learn and master some key points:
1. Control your environment: whether it be food, friends, emails,
texts, facebook, music… only surround yourself with positive things. Discard anything that will reinforce that
negative feedback loop in your head. Replaying old memories, old traumas prevent positive feedback loops from being created.
2. Try something new: fill
that void with a right brained activity.
Something where you can release the emotion and empower yourself, get to
know yourself again. For example music, art, dance, decorating, wood work, crafting, mechanics, cooking. Don't be afraid to try something new. When I ask this question to patients, many people feel they are not creative and sit in front of me in fear that I'm going to critique them. This exercise is about releasing and creating something new, not about how "good" you are at the activity. Ideally the activity will make you feel happy and time stands still for that moment.
3. Meditate, write, do yoga, write gratitude daily...
whatever practice will help you connect with yourself and help you understand your
feelings and face your fears in a supported way. This is the one thing I have found that helps the most. We store emotions in our body, organs, muscles...especially when things get rough. They build up and can bombard you if you are not mindful.
I find many people, are so afraid of the void, that they would rather suffer and hold onto past memories. Personally I am more afraid of having a miserable life, living a lie, and being unhappy. I use that fear to motivate me. I find the more I let go the easier it becomes. Letting go is a personal thing. No one, no message, no book can help you unless you are ready. And the only way to be "ready" is to connect with yourself instead of checking out. With compassion and empathy for yourself, you will find your body and heart will speak to you.
